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I'm better when I'm in your arms
Below are the 24 most recent journal entries.
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2006.08.12 13.36
Hi, hi
Well kyles here :D yay ! I missed him so much lol hes sitting there on my bed reading cosmo:P what a man I have lol anyway I dont know what else to write. Love ya
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2006.08.09 10.38
1. Name:
2. Age/Birthday:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Rapper/Artist:
7. Favorite Book/Comic Book:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Favorite TV Show:
10. Favorite Video Game/Board Game:
11. Do we know each other outside of Livejournal?
12. Would you give me a kidney?
13. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
14. If you could change anything about your current life, would you?
15. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?
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2006.08.09 10.29
Fuck last night ok around 2 in the morning called my cell I think I was half asleep but you know i got off after 2 minutes because I was tired as hell. anyway so today Im going to lunch with my aunt and then Im going to come home call kyle and go back to bed. So fucking tired uhhh. I really got to stop going to bed so late. ahhhhhhh
love ya
Mood: tired
Music: too little too late-jojo
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2006.08.08 20.47
well today has been kinda of interesting in a way. ok well i woke up at like 12:30 ish I think and I called kyle someone was online so it was busy you know how much I hate the fact they have dial up? Like alot like you wouldnt belive. then I came online and talked to alysha and i think maranda. then at around 1:30 kyle called and I went to my room and talked for a half hour we talked then he left. then lidsey kay called ( the girl kyle cheated on me with:() alysha knows but for everyone else. anyway we talked alot and then i left around like 4:30 ish and went online. there i talked to alysha again. any way I dont know it was a werid day for some werid reson I thought it was I think it was becasue I normaly dont sleep till 12:30. anyway kyle called at like 6:30 and we talked for 2 hjours and here I am. ;p lol tommorow im going out to lunch with the aunt and my sister. only 12 more days and kyle and I are going to be 9 months:D
love ya
Mood: happy
Music: nobody wins
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2006.08.06 15.34
My icons
These are the icons that discribe me
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2006.08.06 14.25
You know I should really start writing on here! again. lol I only like write like once a week now I used to write like evry day:( sad lol anyway
well this week has been interseting one yet again. Well on tuesday I think alysha asked if I could sleep over I had permission but the next day I found out that alysha maranda and I were invited to go to sussex to visit joey and dustin and stay the night. now first off I freaked out because what would happen if i got drunk or high. but then I found out that we had to sleep in the same bed as another guy so i talked it over with kyle and he wasent happy with it and eather was I so I decided not to go. Alysha and maranda never got to sussex which is sad becasue alysha wanted to see joey.
Anyway yesturday I went to kyles(L). we had so much fun first I had to wake him up again thats 2 weeks in a row! anyway so what else then we went swimming. we came back home around like 4:30 and i had to pee so bad :P then we hung out for a few hours and then ate. went online and went home.It was fun though. I miss him htought I get to see him in 6 days thought I cant wait till summer break is done.
My palm poilt got a virus so I have to wear out the batterie because it wont let me fix it so i have to restart the whole thing it pissed me off so bad. stupid fucking thing. uhhh
well thats my week I guess.
love ya
Mood: annoyed
Music: Push-christine evens
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2006.07.27 16.00
Update
Well its time to update ok well this week has been very very interesting Ive been on the roads and not spending much time at home today and tuesday I think.... Not sure :P lol. well lets see saturday I went to kyle I love him so much . anyway lets see monday my grandparents came back from there trip to nova scotia(aka the wedding) and then i think on tuesday something happened not sure. well wednesday we went to the green village and took pictures whihc are on my site. then we went out for supper. after supped we came home and kyle called saying that he was going to wodstock till tonight at 9.:( I havent talked to him all day long so sad I know. my grandparents finally left this morning YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! almost cryed thought.:(
anyway tommorow i will be cleaning my ass off because Kyle will be coming over on saturday:P uhh I cant wait were gonna go see lady in the water and then were gonna come back Im gonna by a big tube of ice cream and 2 full throtals for me and kyle and were just going to hang out in my room Ive been wanting to do that for like a week :D
I couldnt go to alyshas today :( sad I wanted to go but the only way I could was if her mom picked me up yesturday night and then stay till sunday but I couldnt because I had previouse plans o well when she comes back me her and maranda are goign to have a big sleep over.
I am goign to start baby sitting very soonwhihc is good so I will have some cash to go out and do stuff.
I think thats everything .Im not quiet sure if im done yet but if im not ill write more :P lol
love you
Mood: busy
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2006.07.24 12.11
Update
Omfg I never know how much you miss someone until you see them. when I got to kyles I walked right in I didnt knock because well I dont really have to anymore.so then when I saw hi he was on the other side of the door I jumped on him and hugged him for like 10 minutes . whjat else we hung out for a long time then we made brownine lol and I put the brownie mix on his face and had to lick it off:P lol anyway I miss kyle so much only 4 more days until are date. were goign to see lady in the water.I LOVE HIM SO MUCH<3
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2006.07.21 15.08
You Know It's All About You (Over 100 Questions)
.:General Info:.
Name:: Stephanie
Age:: 15
Gender:: Girl
Height:: 5'3
Birthday:: September 27
Hair Color:: blonde
Describe yourself in one word:: Spaztic!:P
Describe your personality in one word:: consided
.:School Life:.
What grade are you in:: 10
What school do you go to:: fredericton high
And where is that:: fredericton
Do you get good grades:: straight c's and b's
Favorite Subject:: English
.:Love Life:.
Sexual Preference:: straight
Do you have a bf/gf:: YES
If so,what is their name:: Kyle
How long have you been dating:: 8 months
Do you consider yourself in love with them:: YES
If so,why:: Hes my everything
Have you had your first kiss:: Yes
If so,when:: 3rd grade
Do you have a crush:: no a love
If so,what is their name:: //
Why do you like them:://
Do they know you:: //
Do they know that you like them:: //
How long have you known them:: //
.:Friends:.
Best Friend(s):: Tiffany,kylie, alysha
How long have you been friends:: years for alysha and kylie a year for tiffany
Do you consider yourself a good friend:: Yes
How many friends do you think you have:: a bunch
Most popular:: humm becky
Most conceited:: lol alysha
Friendliest::hum all of them
Meanest:: not sure
Prettiest:: all of them
Craziest:: tiffany:P
Oldest::maranda or kylie not sure
Youngest::me Im the baby
Most recent:: huh ?
Smartest::they have there equal moments
.:Favorites:.
Food::PiIZZA and fries:D
Person::Kyle harrison woodman
Number:: 27
Show:: the hills
Letter:: r
Song:: london bridges
Band/Singer:: My Chemical Romance
Place in the world:: paris
Season:: summer
.:Your-:.
Dream Vacation:: paris
Dream House:: something big not to big
Dream Room:: Black and pink
Location:: at kyles:P
.:Last Time You:.
Watched T.V.:: Watching it right now
Went to the bathroom:: this morning
Ate:: an hour ago
Slept:: last night till 12:20 this morning
Listened to music:: Now.
Used the phone:: an hour ago
IMed someone/Got an IM:: i dont know
Went to school:: a month ago :P
Played a game:: I cant remmeber
Took a shower:: This morning
Hugged someone:: last weekend
Went on a date:: o god i cant remember 2 months ago
Wrote a letter:: 4 years
Cried:: 2 weeks ago
.:Last Person You:.
Hugged:: sean
Kissed:: kyle
Laughed at:: kyle,alysha ummm
Cried over:: ..
IMed/Got an IM from:: ?
Hurt:: kyle
Talked to::kyle
Spoke to on the phone:: kyle
Ate with::parents?
Spent time with:: no one
Saw:: not many ppl
Missed:: kyle so much
Heard:: ...
Played with::...
.:Have You Ever:.
Been out of the country:: yes
Been out of state/province:: yes
Done drugs::no
Done anything illegal:: yes
Slapped someone:: yes
Cut yourself:: yes
Played an instrument:: yes
Hurt someone for no reason:: yes
Hurt someone:: yes
Killed an insect/bug:: yes
Gotten stung by a bee:: no
Lied to your parents:: yes
Stole Something:: no
Kissed Someone:: yes
.:This Or That:.
Rock or Rap:: rock
Singing or Songwriting:: singing
Tennis Shoes or Sandals:: sandals
Phone or Computer:: phone
Biking or Skating:: biking
Analog or Digital:: ..
Coke or Pepsi:: pepsi more caffine
Sprite or Sierra Mist:: sprite
MTV or VH1:: mtv baby
R&B or Country:: eather
Cingular or T-Mobile:: Cingular
Cats or Dogs:: dosent matter
AIM or Yahoo:: yahoo
Bzoink or Quizilla:: Quizilla
.:Word Association:.
Birthday:: presents
Peanut:: brown
Good Charlotte:: EMO!!!!!!!!!
Ravioli:: yellow
President Bush:: must die
T.V.:: show
Rock:: and roll
Rap:: ganstas
Chef:: hat
Boys:: cute
Girls:: nt sure
Calendar:: Day
Fan:: heat
Evil:: devil
.:Right Now:
Eating:: nothing
Drinking:: nothing
Watching:: nothing
What is on your mousepad:: a mouse and dell thingy
What are you doing:: stupid survey
What song are you listening to:: theres gotta be more to life
What's in your CD player:: The one x
Wearing:: clothes
Time:: 3:25
Month:: July
Day of the Month:: 21
Year:: 2006
Day of the week:: friday
What website are you on:: livejournal
.:Random Things:.
What color is your mousepad:: silver/gray
What color is your keyboard:: black
What is the phrase you use the most online:: LOL OMG
Did you like this survey:: no
Are you sad that it's over:: no
What are you gonna do after this survey is over:: not sure
Do you like pop-up ads:: no
How long have you been online:: a few hours
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2006.07.15 21.03
Breaking down
Ok well i havent updated in a long time so heres what happening. currently my grandparents are hear they pulled in from blind river ontario around 5 this afternoon. Ok well lets see its 6 days, 6 full day still I can see kyle and I miss him so much like omg I miss him so much I almost started crying I cant stand the fact of being so far away from him. like good 2 weeks I cant go 1 day without talking to him. uhh this week is goign to be bad. alyshas computer broke down and I called her on thursday we had a very good conversation lol. I miss everyone I miss kyle I miss maranda I miss alysha ,kylie and tiffany. I know Im sad 1 month into summer vacation:(well what else I got 20 bucks today :) and I got cosmo this morning at the mall. this morrning my mum my sister and I all volentered for the run for the xcure. so we were in the mall supporting the run whihc is on the 1 of oct Im so excited maybe Ill get a whole bunch of people to walk/run with me if i do do it. I saw sean and emlyn at the mall lol sean got a new hatt I want the old one:D lol I signed it ! anyway what else last night I slept 4 hours and Im so tired I had a coffee but its wearing off. what else hummm I dont know .
anyway Im gonna go
love you
Mood: gloomy
Music: Standing in the rain-Billy talent
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2006.07.09 17.49
Back from kyles
Omfg the last two days have been so fun! ok well first off I got picked up by kyles aunt and mom lol that was a scary ride. what else then when I got there we walked down to the boat dock and went swimming. I steeped on a fish! uhh anyway after that we waled home and then when we got home we hing out for a bit. then after that we went down the rad to this icecram place liek around 5 or so. we were hanging out by the water eating when this guy that kyle knows starts talking to us and started smoking weed! I was like im gone I didnt want to be around that very long so we left. then 2 hours or 3 later we walked down there again to get ice cram around 9 and travis and his gf and a whole bunc of peopple were there. travis lol mulested kyle uhh so wrong then after we walked home. around 10 or 11 we went outside and it was really dark out and I saw thses little bugs called lighting bugs and they were so pretty they lit up at night:D I wanted to catch one o well. anyway then what for a while me and him hung out and around 1 we feel asleep in each others arms. around 7 i woke up and I had a bi-polar eposode I became sad and I almost started cying. so I went becak to bed only with 1 tiny blanket on and in about 20 mintes kyle woke up and saw me and put a blacket on me and wrapped me up in this arms. I feel asleep for two hours while kyle was awake and holding me AWWWWW:D lol then around 11 we got up out of bed and had breakfast. then after that we went down to the boating dock again and went swimming. we walked every where uhh my feet urt its about a half hour walk from kyles to the boating dock. anyway then after we came back and I relised I had anohter sun burn for the second time in two days which sucks because It hurts now. ok then after we got home we ate and showerd off and then walked down the the ice cream place again. there we hung out for a while and it was almost time for me to go home. well i called my dad and said I was going to be late and he got all bitchy on me and hung up. so I freaked out and well for an hour i was all sad and shit and now Im home but still really pissed off at my dad and mum. my mum told me I wasent allowd to sleep over again uhh so mad. anyway Omg I love kyle so much uhh my god no words can descibe how happy I am I spent like 30 hours with him . I miss him already and Its been liek a half hour
Mood: happy
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2006.07.08 10.10
Going to kyles soon
well Im going to kyles soon I wont be back till sunday around 2 or 3 maybe 4. anyway I will try to sleep but I DOUBT there wont be much of that .
love ya
Mood: excited
Music: ain't no other man-christina aguilira
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2006.07.07 15.05
Updates
Ok well this week has been hectict first on tuesday I slept over at alyshas house and had a fun time. We tanned on her roof:P lol watching guys from leons fall lol omg alysha that was funny. anyway then yesturday was my mum birthday so I was busy doing shit and I actually made supper omg that was so amazing but so gross o well you gotta eat. then I found out that Im allowed to sleep over at kyles lol :D IM so fringing excited uhh like you wouldnt be . What else tommorow Kyle and I are going swimming at this little swimming whole thing lol so yeah and its gonna be 30 degrees! its gonna be hott.
so yeah I think thats it
Mood: excited
Music: kisses dont lie-rihanna
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2006.07.02 17.18
the best weekend ever
OMFG!lol ok well this weekend is so great. like omg ok well kyle came over and we hung out in my room for a long time then we went downtown and hung ou with friends then we came home and hung out in my room and ate. then after we ate we went around my area and hung out at kimble. ten at 9 my dad picked us up and drove us to the canada day shit downtown. then we met up with a bunch of people we know. right then afte the fireworks kyle came over and he stayed the night! lol omg it was so frigging great like you knw then today was are 8 months:D yay oMg I love hime so much like you wouldnt belive. I also got my bikini! lol anyway what else I cant wait till next weekend I m proubly gonna sleep over there. lol . anyway it was at great weekend with my one and only love kyle . heres some pictures
Mood: happy
Music: gone forever-three days grace
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2006.06.29 12.00
well last night was one of those nights I was up to three in the morning i really can not stay up that late at night because I have break downs and cant sleep. that whas the second night in a week Ive broke down crying because of nothing . I need to go see a theripist really badly. like I need someone to tlak out my problems with. kyle helps a little but he dosent know half my problems. to bad he couldnt but I cant trust anyone with it. like I trusted gisele with everything and she went around saying shit that I said and told her never to say. so now I cant trust anyone. I have my wall and sometimes I wish it wasent there. kyle well kyle hes my one and only love you know but sometimes I cant talk to him. last night I was in my room and I wrote my suicide letter but it was addressed to kyle and I want it gone I want it to not be around me so thats why today Im burning it. well hopefully. kyles calling at 12:30 but hopefully my mum will call before that so I dont have to worry about it you know. so anyway kyles coming over saturday were goign to the cananda day shit downtown but I wanna stay home and hang out. Im really tired because I woke up at 10:30 I only got 7 hours of sleep. which sucks ass! lol anyway what else...? I dont know right now I wanna give up on kyle and giv ehim to lindsey becasue they would be better with out me I should just take my self out of the picture. but Ive already broken up wiht him once and it killed me then.over and over in my head i keep seeing them together. you know its hard. I cant stand it I drown it out of my head with book and music and if not that Ill yell at amanda which isnt far for her. I have so much fucking rage build up inside me I cant let it go. it sucks. but I promised my self that Im not going to hurt my self again Im not gonna cut. Im just going to deal with it the best way I can... sleeping. sleeping when Im stressed or pissed makes everything else go away. I disapear into another world. well these are my rants for the day
Mood: sleepy
Music: Never too late- three days grace
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2006.06.25 20.59
Quotes that get me through the day(sometimes)
Good
& sometimes all a person really needs
is a hand to hold & a heart to understand <3
She has a world full of dreams that you'd never believe
&& like no other guy i've ever known
i'm actually okay just being the girl I am
no fussing with my hair...or layering the makeup on
you make me feel like being myself is the way you like me
No matter how ugly you think or are, or how
everyone else around you has it better than you
there's always going to be that one special guy
that loves you because you're not like everyone else
Everyone says to give up on you,
but they don't see you like I do.
You're the one that broke my heart.
You're the reason my world fell apart.
You're the one that made me cry.
Yet I still love you - and I don't know why..
She's the girl with her middle finger in the air
Because for the first time, she doesn't fucking care.
Sad/depressing
I'm not depressed;; I just hate everything.
I'm not a horrible person;; I just let everyone down.
I'm not an outcast;; Everyone just hates me.
I'm not in love;; I just constantly think of him.
I'm not a cutter;; I just have to slice my wrists.
I'm not a mistake;; I'm just not supposed to be here.
I'm not suicidal;; I just want to die..
She's in a suicidal mindset.
Popping pills to chase the dreams,
And sipping booze to ease the screams
Glass, poison, overdose.
Gun to the head, knife to the throat
Blade to wrist, or fall from high...
You pick one: How did I die?
Death is life's way of saying "You're fired"
Suicide is your way of saying, "I quit."
LETTER T0 M0MMY
my mommy found me in my room on the floor.
before I did this I put my ‘don’t disturb’ sign on my door
but now as she looks at me with blood flowing from my wrist.
she picks up a note that reads something like this:
Mom, I know I never told you. never showed it in my face
but i`ll tell you now, my life was a disgrace.
I never planned a future `cus I knew my life would end
& now as I write this, you were my only friend.
I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to break your heart
just keep on living and we`ll never be apart.
tell daddy that I love him. tell sis and brother to be brave
& promise me this on my birthday, ever year put a rose on my grave.
I love you mommy, very much and when the others cry,
tell them i hate them and tell them that its all their fault.
each cut will tell them why, but now,
I must go now mommy death is calling my name.
and when youu see me dead mommy, don`t put on yourself the blame.
i`m picking up the knife right now mommy
these tears for you I cry
I just made the first cut mommy,
I guess now i`ll say goodbye
Love
Maybe I'm amazing,
maybe you are, too.
Maybe I need someone.
Maybe I need you.
There she is;;
Sitting in her room,
listening to love songs,
thinking about him,
wishing he was there
i'm hyper around my girls, classy in front
of the guys, crazy with the family. but whenever
you're around, i'm at a loss for everything
&& i JUST DiSAPPEAR x3
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2006.06.24 22.03
Back from kyles
Omg today was so fucking fun I didnt relise how much I missed kyle until I almost mad him fall on the floor from hugging him. Today driving there I was quiet I was trying to control myself. well anyway so at kyles we hung out for a long time just talking about shit.I gave him his make over and took the pictures. then him, his mum and I all had a conversation about are fighting and my cutting proublem . she thinks Im a constant cutter. uh huh i havent in 3 weeks. anyway so then we went to the mall to hang out I guess we got pictures taken at the mall of us and I have them:D lol you know then we came back and I feel asleep in bed and I almost started crying becuase I was getting upset at my parents and leaving. kyle and I talked about it for a little bt of time it blew off some steam but not all of it.so after that we went out to the woods where his dad had a fire going(I was and still am wearing his sweater becasue I stole it!:D) lol anyway so we cooked hotdogs I ate 3 and kyle only ate 2 and a half whahaha.anyway so then after that we went in and talked for about another 15 minutes with his mom and dad alittle. I thought it was fun I got to know his family a little more and I think there starting to know me better then before. anyway pictures will be up tommorow hopefully lol.tommorow I am doing absolutly nothing at all just going to sta home and relax I guess.
love you
Mood: happy
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2006.06.24 11.43
good morning . well this morning I woke up around 10:30 I got up and ate then had a shoer. I was in the shower for like 10 minutes when I relised I didnt have a towel! o great anyway then i went and got dressed. I came out of my room and went ont he computer my limewire has totaly fu!ked up this computer anyway Im going to kyles very soon and my dad still isent home he went to get food thank god cuz im starving. anyway I'll post when I get back with those pictures of kyle in drag. lol
love ya
Mood: energetic
Music: Wonderwall-Oasis
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2006.06.23 22.57
well ok my evening was great until an hour ago ok techinicly I had jsut got off the phone with kyle and I had permission to go over tommorow right well I decided to pull aitude and get bitchy at my parents about I dont know what. now after being yelled at and after calling kyle and telling him that I couldnt come I had to write an Essay. well the essay took me 20 minutes to do and I think I did a really good job about it. after talking to my parents they let me finaly go to kyles so I called him again for the fotrth or fifth time tonight and told him that I could go again. so anyway so tommorow I get to put make-up on him lol and yes there will be pictures on here tommorow night promise. anyway I g2g cuz im tired and I should go to bed cuz its 11 .
love you
Mood: bouncy
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2006.06.23 16.00
update
Well Ive been cleaning for about 3 hours hoping to go to kyles tomorow. that and the house needs a good cleaning.anyway Ill write proubly tonghit or tommorow morning
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2006.06.23 12.17
On the phone with kyle
Well Im on the phone with kyle and amandas being such a bitch! uh she pisses me off so bad. like she thinks shes my mother or something. well last night kyle and I got in a fight because well I cheated on him with another guy. I was drunk thats ALL I have to say. anyway so we fought for like 2 hours and this morning he called me at like 9:30 or so and were still talking on the phone. but anway so tommorow I may go to his house hopefully I can I miss him so god damn much:( anyway so last night after we got off the phone I called lindsey she couldnt come to the phone. but then I actually got up and cleand my closet!omg that was fucking sweet:P lol sd but like I found all my clothes and a whole bunch of other shit. anyway ok yesturday jody scott and I all hung out first we went to the water front under the bridge and sat on one of the pilars for an hour and talked then went and walked up downscrossing and biggs street and up to kimble from there we went to jodys and got drunk. great huh and thats where it happened . anyway I m so happy at the fact kyle took me back after I did this to him. I feel so bad about dooing it though. I think today Imjust going to stay home and talk to kyle on the phone. I love him so much even though I did that to him
love you
Mood: guilty
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2006.06.22 10.46
hello
well today is techinilly day two of summer vacation and I'm going insane my sister has already seemed to piss me off more then once with just her voice. what else OMG i miss kyle so much uhh words cant describe how much I actually miss him. like I almost started crying. today Im goign up to kimble if someones with me or not . I am soposed to hang otu with scott but that depends if he has something planned today or not. hopefully when jody gets out of school we all will hang out every day ( but I doubt that will happen) anyway.... next weekend no matter what Im going to kyles plus Im getting a new bikni (i hope) and I want to get my hair cut( like off short ) because I hate my hair being long its such a pain in the ass. anyway what else I failed science on tuesday and I got no grading present thats ok thought because I dont deserve it. my sister and I are forced( but i wanted to)in to getting a job becuase she failed two subjuects also. anyway so on tuesday I cryed a bit because I missed kyle alot and I KNOW me and him are going to become more and more distant but hopefully we will least trough the summer with not many fights. Me and him havent fought in 2 weeks well sence we broke up on that tuesday and started dating again on that same tuesday. anyway I love him so much and I dont want to lose him.
My friends Alysha,Maranda, and of course Britney are very crazy they went out the other night in the lighting and thunder in the pooring rain !they could of been killed but I thoguht it was funny at the fact they did it. anyway my best friend tiffany is not movving away which is good because I cryed because I would miss ehr so much like twice once with kyle on the phone and her in front of me when kyle and i broke up. so anyway right now Im eating brownies which are very suclent:D lol nice uh huh! lol
anyway I should go have a shower or something because Im leaving in about an hour.
love ya
Mood: loved
Music: Pussycat dolls-Flirt
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steph_2006's journal
